I became a Christian in the year 2011. I am a product of an alcoholic and emotional and mentally abusive father and a mother who claims to be a secret agent, although no agency has yet to claim her. With that came a lot of baggage that I needed to trust God to break apart and help me to become free of. So, if my memory serves me right, I attended a bible study called Breaking Free by Beth Moore back in 2012 with my then church and I was brought to my lowest level and praise Jesus for it.
At the time I was dealing with a few addictions, insecurities out of the wazoo, and the toxic home life on a daily basis so I felt that this study came at the right time.
I went to every session we had at our church and I did every piece of homework faithfully and slowly but surely I was trusting God to free me from the bondage of sin I was living in (yes, even as a Christian I was still dealing with my sins from before). By the end of this class I went on to be free and sober for a year and some change and then I was hit with another blow and I fell right back into the pit.
I’m a little iffy on when I took Breaking Free for a second time, I think it was because I had got so comfortable doing Bible studies at our church that I loved the community and felt that I could gain more insight into what God meant by “to proclaim liberty to the captives” (Isaiah 61:1). But other than gaining more notes in my already completed book nothing really changed.
Time went by, parents separated, my depression and anxiety soured through the roof, I was hurt by the church I once called home, insecurities ran rampant, I relapsed, mental breakdown, hospitalization, medication, and mental health acknowledgment, and now I’ve found myself back to the pages of Breaking Free for the third time.
What makes this time any different? I’m a new person, and I now have no choice but to look at ALL of my baggage head on and tell it the devil IS a lie and I am not a captive because I am sealed and delievered because Jesus died on the cross for my sins and I am free because He says I am.
I’m taking my time through the study this time and what Beth Moore is speaking on has a fresh anointing on my life. I can see freedom from all of my stuff so clearly that I can feel the inspiration of the Holy Spirit on Beth as she speaks in each session and as she asks the necessary questions within each study day. I’m not placing all of my hopes and dreams on this study because at the end of the day it’s my relationship with Jesus that’ll get the job done, but I know He’ll use this study to help me on the path of healing and wholeness.