The Time When Bugs Freaked Me Out…

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Posted March 13, 2019 by Leona Woolfolk in Lifestyle, Mental Health / 2 Comments

TRIGGER WARNING: If any type of bugs that are commonly known to infiltrate your home or if the mention of childhood victimization cause you discomfort, possible flashbacks, or panic attacks I caution you to not read this post.



In August 2018 we were in the process of moving from our house, our home of liberation from my dad (I spoke about him in a previous post), to a smaller and more affordable apartment. The day of the walk through in the new apartment I remember feeling excited about this new adventure and what freedom it could give my mother financially. After all the policies and the lease was signed we headed over to where our apartment building was located and then made our way to our actual apartment.

First, I couldn’t stand how long the hallways was, I’m talking The Shinning long.

I knew that on the day of the move that this hallway would tire us out quicker than the lifting and carrying, but I remained optimistic because I’ve always been a roll with the punches type of gal.

Second, I didn’t like how old the apartment looked. The carpet was dingy colored and with the few windows that were in the apartment there was hardly any sunlight.

Third, I didn’t like how cramped the kitchen was. I am one of the main ones that cook in my family and I’ve always loved an airy kitchen that would allow me room to move from the refrigerator to the stove, from the stove to the cabinet, etc. But, the kitchen within this apartment didn’t allow enough room for two people to stand within it comfortably. Again, I didn’t let this sour my mood and optimism for what this apartment could be to my family. Well, that was until the roaches were spotted within the kitchen.

Mind you the manager that walked through our lease with us arrived when my mom and I had finished walking through the bedrooms and bathrooms and had made our way to the kitchen. Since we still had to sign the walk through papers she wanted to be there to make sure that everything was to our liking.

Sadly, when I pointed out the baby roach to her that was walking along the cabinet where the sink was located she brushed it off claiming it was a beetle. I firmly said, “No, that’s a roach, I know what a roach looks like.” In saying that my mom looked harder and confirmed my statement and then began to further investigate which is when she found a full grown roach in the dishwasher, under the sink, and within the draws. The manager could no longer dispute that the apartment was in fact infested with roaches and made it no secret that she was one step away from fleeing out the front door.

After assurances from the manager that she would put a pest control ticket in for our apartment on our move-in day (which was the very next day, August 30th 2018), and after she stated she would send over a maintenance person to come and spray while we were still there we naively signed the walk through paperwork.

Fast forward to the next day, which I will dub ‘moving day,’ where we’ve picked up the Penske truck (way cheaper than U-Haul) and had rounded up as much help as we could find. We were moving into the apartment hoping that the roaches we saw were obliterated to roach heaven (or hell depending on how you feel about them) and that we’ve found a trustworthy person within our new address. What happens subsequently to our arriving at our new place give credence to our naivete in signing the walk through paperwork the day before.

After the three days we’d sweated bullets getting all of our furniture and boxes into the new apartment it was time to relax and start unpacking our necessities so that we could start making a home out of the new place. Sadly, this was when the small spattering of roaches we saw the day before were an appetizer to what made itself known when we closed the door to the last guest leaving our apartment. First, I wanted to be sure that the infestation wasn’t worse than we thought so we bought the Raid spray nozzle that has been reported to obliterate roaches and ants back to kingdom come. Secondly, I was taking the approach of facing my fears because while we were driving back and forth from the old residence to the new I was constantly having panic attacks and so close to giving in to despair that I was freaking my mom out.

Well, facing my fears lasted about a day when I practically sprayed every inch of our new kitchen with the Raid that I invited all the bugs to come out. I’m talking they were coming from behind the refrigerator, the dish washing portion under the sink, the cabinets attached to the wall, the exhaust fan, from behind cabinets, within the draws, on the floor, in the dinning room, on the back splash behind the sink, everywhere. What made it worse was when my sister visited and laughed at the anxiety I was showing (shaking and rocking and tears galore) and made it seem as if I was blowing everything out of proportion.

This day was the start of a mental breakdown that in hindsight I feel was a long time coming, the roaches were just the straw that broke the camels back.

Stay tuned for part two, When You’re Triggered into Hospitalization …


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